Splitting the bill when some people don't drink

Take the alcohol out of the shared pot. Split the food evenly if everyone's orders were similar, or itemise it if they weren't, but drinks are always paid for by the people who drank them. A bottle shared by three of six people is split three ways, not six. Agree this when the first bottle is ordered, not when the bill arrives.

Alcohol is usually the single biggest distortion on a restaurant bill, and more so in Sweden, where wine in restaurants is expensive. A bottle can cost as much as two mains, and a cocktail as much as a starter. Food orders around a table tend to differ by a hundred kronor or so. Drink tabs can differ by five hundred.

A worked example

Six friends go out for dinner. Sofia, Erik and Hannah share a bottle of red. Omar doesn't usually drink but has one glass from the bottle. Leo is driving and has two alcohol-free beers. Maja is vegetarian, has a lemonade, and skips the charcuterie board. Erik also has a gin and tonic while they wait for a table. Prices are illustrative.

The mains were Sofia 285 kr, Erik 310 kr, Hannah 265 kr, Leo 275 kr, Maja 195 kr and Omar 290 kr. The bread is 20 kr a head and the charcuterie 42 kr for each of the five who ate it.

Omar's glass needs a number. A 75 cl bottle pours about five 15 cl glasses, so one glass is a fifth of the bottle: 108 kr. The remaining 432 kr is split between the three real wine drinkers, 144 kr each. Don't charge him the by-the-glass price from the menu. Wine by the glass is usually priced higher per glass than the bottle works out to, and the bottle is what was actually bought.

Here is what each person pays under three approaches:

Under the even split, Maja pays 470 kr for 270 kr of pasta, lemonade and bread, so 200 kr more than she had. Erik pays 191 kr less than his share. Put plainly, the vegetarian who drank lemonade paid for Erik's gin and tonic and then some.

Splitting the food evenly and the drinks by who had them (the middle column) fixes most of that. Sofia, Hannah, Leo and Omar all land within 30 kr of their itemised totals, and the wine stays with the wine drinkers. It doesn't do much for Maja: she still pays 110 kr over, because her main was the cheapest on the table and she didn't touch the charcuterie.

That gives a simple rule. Food evenly and drinks separately is a good default when people's food is roughly similar. As soon as one person's food is clearly cheaper, because they're vegetarian at a steak place, only had a starter, or couldn't eat the shared dishes, itemise everything. For the other common methods, see how to split a bill fairly.

If you itemise with Qvitt, the bottle can be split into three equal parts so only Sofia, Erik and Hannah claim it, while everyone else just taps their own main and drink.

The cases that start arguments

The non-drinker who had one glass

A full glass is a fifth of the bottle, as above. A taste for a toast is nothing; nobody should be charged 20 kr for a sip. If you're the one who had the glass, say so before anyone else has to: "I had one glass of the red, so put me down for a fifth of the bottle."

The bottle that wasn't finished

If the bottle goes back a third full, the drinkers still pay for all of it. They ordered it, and it isn't the non-drinkers' job to cover what nobody drank.

The second bottle

A second bottle is a new decision, not an extension of the first. If Hannah stopped after the first one, the second is split between Sofia and Erik. Ask when it's ordered: "Are we all in on another?" It takes two seconds and saves the conversation later.

The driver

The driver pays for their own soft drinks like any non-drinker. If they're also giving people lifts home, covering their drinks is a cheap thank-you: Leo's 130 kr spread across the other five is 26 kr each.

The vegetarian or the person on the cheaper menu

Vegetarian mains are often the cheapest on the menu, especially at steak and seafood places. If the group picked a restaurant where one person had a single option, the least you can do is let them pay for their own plate. The same goes for shared platters: if the charcuterie board, the seafood platter or the bread is something someone can't eat, because they're vegetarian, coeliac or allergic, they shouldn't pay for a share of it.

Set menus are the exception. If everyone has the same three courses at the same price, a vegetarian swap changes nothing and the food can be split evenly. Wine pairings are priced per person, so the non-drinker either takes the alcohol-free pairing or none, and the bill sorts itself out.

Shots for the table

Whoever orders a round for the table either treats everyone or splits it among those who actually drank one. The person who slid their shot across to a neighbour doesn't pay for it. Rounds get their own treatment in splitting a bar tab.

Raising it without singling anyone out

Non-drinkers often say nothing, partly because they don't want to explain why they aren't drinking. Pregnancy, medication, recovery, religion, training for something, or simply not fancying it are all private reasons. A standing rule that drinks are separate means nobody has to explain anything. The organiser is the best person to set it, ideally before anyone sits down.

In the group chat beforehand:

"Plan for Friday: food split evenly, everyone pays for their own drinks. Order whatever you like."

When the wine is ordered:

"Who's in on the bottle? Three of us? We'll split it between us."

If nobody agreed anything and the bill is already on the table:

"Can we take the wine off and split it between the three of us who had it? Maja and Leo didn't drink."

And if you're the one who didn't drink:

"I didn't have any wine, so I'll pay for what I had: 270 with my share of the bread. Is that OK?"

Asking the drinkers to pay for their drinks isn't stingy. The stingy version is the even split, where the people with the biggest tab pay less than they had.

If you tip

Add the tip in proportion to what each person spent, so the drinkers carry more of it. A flat amount per head would have Maja tipping on Erik's gin and tonic. The maths is in tips and service charges when you split the bill.